Green Apple

Odd how whenever you think of green apples you think of a sour taste. I've got a sort of sour taste in my mouth right now for two reasons. One: I've got a Green Apple Jones Soda at my side. Two: I saw an old friend at Subway about an hour ago when my mom stopped for lunch.

I'll feel awkward if I mention his name, but now that I think about it, I feel awkward around anything remotely concerning him now. In my junior and senior years of high school (which were rather unfortunate years of my life), Neil was a very good friend of mine. At least, I'd like to have considered him so. He was supposed to graduate with the rest of "the fellowship" as we called it (a group of six or seven or so friends in which I was a year younger than the rest), but he had failed a few classes and ended up having to do one more semester. I was looking forward to it, because I'd be seeing more of him if he was still in high school while I finished up.

All this time he was dating another of this "fellowship". I never felt awkward when I was the third wheel with them. I considered that a blessing, because I'd had many misfortunes when it came to dating (come to think of it, I still do to a certain degree). However, when she graduated and left him to finish his last semester, new ideas surfaced. They were new for me because I was completely oblivious to everything. He sat with me and some of my other friends at lunch once, and whispered in my ear that he'd had a crush on me for quite a few months now.

Just call me the Awkward Turtle.

I never wanted to see myself dating him. Ever. Mostly because I was such good friends with his CURRENT girlfriend. (Side note: I never dated him. I never will, either.)

Then I learned of something awful that happened between him and my dear Emily. She was very distressed, and I will never press her for the details. She doesn't like to use the word hate, but that was the closest I've ever seen to her hating someone. And that's something big.

So when I saw him today working at Subway, I felt every fiber of my being heating up with the Awkward Situation, and I almost felt my hands flattening against each other in the shape of the Turtle. I'll never be able to look at him the same way again, and I feel badly that I can't be his friend anymore.

That's just the way things go.

So the fortune under the cap of my Jones Soda says this: "You will soon find something lost long ago." I wonder if this something is even something tangible. ;-)

Awkwardly Yours,

Miranda

P.S. I made an executive decision. I need to sit back. Am I being too assertive? If yes...does that mean I've done the wrong thing again? I must have a knack for repeating my worst mistakes.