Why Acronyms and Chain Letters are the Anti-Christ

Think about it for a second. The English language is probably THE mutt of all languages out there. Its words take their roots from many of the much older, more ancient languages, especially Latin and Greek. It's also considered to be one of the Germanic languages, so if you wanted to go and randomly learn German, a lot of the words would be similar so the only thing you'd have to work really hard at is the grammar.

How far has our language come? Pretty far, although it's not nearly as old as some of the romance languages. Remember Old and Middle English and how weird they sound now? These two languages look like some kind of alien language written out, and God help us if we ever try to pronounce any of those, right? Well what about the English language we speak today? Even now nobody cares about it. If you come to America, you are expected to speak English well enough to be understood. Contrary to this, if any random American decided to take a trip to the Vatican, they'd expect all the locals to speak English for them because they don't want to bother taking the time to learn Italian, right? LAME.

Which brings me to the acronyms. Examples: "lol", "brb", and "omg". Et cetera. If we continue to use these acronyms so freely when speaking to friends (or just some random person whom you'd like to fly to Florida to meet...may I remind you that Florida is America's wang? Love you, Nathan...), they might creep into ordinary language. What does this mean? The English language will continue to evolve and we will lose even more of its original beauty. I have personally taken it upon myself to prevent this by forming a Coalition to Preserve the English Language. I know of many who will join me in this movement.

As far as these chain letters go...well, let me tell you something. I've seen a variety of them. They sometimes contain sweet stories or funny anecdotes, and at the end of each one of them is a warning. Each warning begins "Pass this on or..." or "If you don't send this to (insert number here) people...". And these sentences are finished with threats. Threats to my life, my virginity, my soul...and my sanity. So far, I'm still alive, I'm still going to mass every week, and nobody has climbed through my window in the middle of the night to rape me and/or slit my throat. The only thing these chain letters have been successful in achieving is making me roll my eyes, mutter something along the lines of, "Idiot...", and click the "delete" button.

What a cruel world we live in.

{This is actually something I posted at myspace that I thought was rather good, if I do say so myself.}

Acronymically yours,

Miranda